Depression Is An Insidious Thing

One of the things I want to talk about here is mental health, how we deal with it, and what we can do. I am not a mental health therapist. I am not licensed. I can only speak to my own experiences and hope that in sharing what I have gone through, it will help others with their own predicaments.

I’d like to talk about depression. One of the worst little secrets about depression is that it’s rage and anger turned inward. Think about it. The symptoms of depression are a tightening, a hunching over, making yourself very small, even if it’s just emotionally. You want to crawl into a ball. You wrap your arms around yourself. There’s no projection, it’s all inward direction at this time.

The thoughts that go along with depression match this. “It’s my fault.” “I did something wrong.” “I can’t make it.” “I’m not good enough.” The therapists all tell you to use “I” statements when you’re explaining your feelings to someone else so as not to project, but when you’re talking to yourself, it’s just a boomerang of a thought, circling back at you.

So what do you do? It’s not easy to break this cycle of depression. And for those of us who have dealt with depression for many years, it can be tough. After all, we’ve been battering at ourselves for months, years, decades even, with these negative, hateful, angry thoughts. BUT, don’t beat yourself up any more over it. The cycle has to stop, and it has to stop now.

So take a deep breath. Sit up. Think about what you are really feeling. Yes, this involves poking around in your mind and getting to the root of things. This can be tough. If you feel the need for professional help, then by all means seek it. At least have the ear of someone who can be non-judgmental and supportive in all your efforts.

Why are you depressed? Is it a work situation that seems fruitless? Why does it seem that way? What’s happening? Acknowledge the responsibility that you have in the situation, but also understand that there may be others. They have to have responsibility too, even if it’s just in your own realization. Understand the situation. You need to understand, then you can work to dissipate that negative energy with which you’ve been bombarding yourself. Walk. Cry. Yell. Do what you need to do, but do it with the intent to harmlessly dissipate the energy. Turning that negativity onto someone else is just as bad as sending it on yourself. Send the energy to god, or your angels, to the earth, to whatever your spiritual belief system has so that it may be cleansed and remade anew.

When you are cleansed, then you can move forward. Any time you catch yourself thinking one of those negative thoughts, stop it. Do a STOP CLEAR on your mind. Then, move forward into positivity and love.

It’s tough. It’s going to take constant vigilance and awareness. This is senior level stuff, I’m talking about. So understand that it’s a process, and you will be working on it. But also know that as you do, you will walk from the dark place in your mind and into the light of self-love and self-understanding. And that, my friends, is a beautiful place to be.

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