It wasn’t until an unhealthy situation arose, and then cleared, that I fully understood the wounds we carry inside from childhood bullying and abuse. And then, in a moment of clarity, I asked myself: what is the one thing I can do to help heal in this moment?
I hugged my inner child. In my mind, I pictured myself as I am now, mid-thirties, with all the knowledge that it does, indeed, get better, and the knowledge that those people were acting out of fear, I gave my inner child a big bear hug. “Come here, honey,” I said to the sad, hurting little girl. “You are so loved. You are worthy of love. You are love.” And as I enfolded my inner child in my mental arms and let the very real tears flow, I realized that I had done more to heal in that moment than I probably had in many years.
No, let me reveal the truth, here. I thought I’d “gotten over it” and “grown up” and didn’t have to “deal with it” anymore. Then, I was put into a situation where instead of a vibrant, thirty-year old woman, I was the little girl who dreaded the walk home from school because of what might happen. I was the straight-A student who was scared to death to say something, lest it be the wrong thing and I’d get yelled at again. Those wounds don’t heal easily, but they do heal. And to heal them starts with love.
Not all of us have hurt inner children. Maybe the old wound happened during college, or in the early years of a career. In our mind, going back to the “us” that we were back then and offering love, understanding, acceptance, those things that all of us crave, means we’re taking steps to heal.
I cannot describe the moment when in my mind, I drew my elementary-school aged self into my arms and gave the unconditional love that it so sorely needed. All of a sudden the “mean girls” both inner and external didn’t matter anymore. The bullies of the world were fearful, scared little children themselves, and I knew I was loved and they couldn’t hurt me anymore.
Now, sometimes we can do this spontaneously. And sometimes, we need help from others. For me, it was help from friends, from loved ones, and from spiritual sources to come to this place. If you would like my help, I’d love to hear from you.
Tomorrow, I’ll talk about sending reiki into the past, and using that in conjunction with love to help you heal.