Archives for chronic illness

What Have You Been Doing For You Lately?

I’ve found myself in a really busy time lately between working, taking care of my elderly mom, and running the businesses. I didn’t intend to get this busy; nor do I intend to stay this way. But, I know relief won’t be coming for about a week, so I have to make sure that I take care of myself. I don’t want to work myself into an (even worse) fibro flare, and I need to make sure that I’m refilling my well so that I have plenty to give to those who need me.

Here’s what I’ve been doing for me:

  1. Stayed in bed this morning, relishing not having to get up and rush out the door. I enjoyed the company of my cats, my partner, and just luxuriating in bed.
  2. Picked up a historical romance novel and read last night, losing myself in the world of Regency England. (Got to love a man in breeches and boots.)
  3. Spent time at the barn today in spite of the heat just chatting with people I hadn’t seen in a while.
  4. Spent time with my mom, tossing a catnip toy for her cat and just keeping her company. It was good for both of us.

This is just in the last twenty four hours. What have you been doing for you lately?

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Is What You’re Doing For Others Hurting Yourself?

I read something today that at once bothered me and reminded me of myself at times. This individual was doing something for another person even though it caused her pain. And it was the sort of action that shouldn’t cause pain, not that any of them should. And yet, I think as individuals with chronic illnesses, we often think we need to do more. There’s house cleaning that needs to be done. There are chores. There’s things we should do with our partner, and yet we hurt! Sometimes the two simply do not meet.

If we honor ourselves, then we will not do these things. Now, there are times that the groceries need to be bought or things need to happen when we hurt. That’s the way life is. But if we have the choice, we need to speak up, state our situation, and honor ourselves by following what our body wants. It might be hard. And it might be something we’re not used to doing.

It’s important to honor ourselves. It’s important to take care of ourselves. We need to value our bodies and value our sense of wellness enough to say no to things. We need to respect the boundaries that we have, even if we’re not happy with them. I don’t think any individual with a chronic illness is happy when she or he hurts too much to do things. Saying “no” is not something we like to do. But, it does allow us time and space to heal and to take care of ourselves.

And if other people honor us too, then they’ll understand.

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Honor Your Pain

One of the things I’ve noticed with the wide swings in our temperatures is that my fibro pain has been worse than usual. Storms last night lead to cool and rainy weather today, and my shoulders and joints are feeling it. I’m not alone, either. A visit to my mom confirmed that she feels the weather in much the same way, and I hear the same sentiments echoed by other friends with fibromyalgia or athritis.

It’s too easy to grumble about our pain. We mumble about it, take our medicine, if we can, or if any works, and we wish it would just go away.

However, even in our pain our bodies are trying to communicate with us. Instead of hating our pain, we should honor it. Does that mean it still is difficult to deal with? Of course it is. And yes, we do probably want our pain to go away. But when it’s there, honor it.

How do you do that?

First, accept that the pain is there. This doesn’t mean giving up or stopping to try and find treatments. But it does mean accepting that you have pain and taking whatever steps you need to do in order to ease the pain.

Secondly, love your body, including the pain. When people hurt, such as after a strenuous workout or after an injury, the pain is their bodies’ way of saying that something isn’t right and needs attention. For chronic illness sufferers, the pain is our body’s way of saying slow down, take care of yourself.

Third, dialogue with your pain. What does it want? What is it trying to tell you? Are you being hard on yourself again, “beating up on yourself” for something you can’t control? Perhaps your pain is telling you to stop that destructive behavior. If you close down and ignore your pain, you may never know these life changing lessons.

When we hurt, we need tender care, love, and compassion. We need to honor our pain so that we can understand what it’s telling us, and so we can move forward in health and strength.

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Small Things Mean A Lot To Chronic Illness Patients

I just returned from visiting my mom; she’s having a routine procedure done tomorrow, but is on a clear liquid diet this week. We’re both foodies, and I could only imagine how frustrating it would be to be so restricted with diet. So as she completed some pre-work for the treatment tomorrow, I went over and sat with her. We didn’t do anything too exciting, just watched Jeopardy! and Dr. Oz. And yet, I kept her company, and that was good.

When we have family members or friends who have chronic illnesses, sometimes we can wonder what we can do to help. Simple things, like cooking foods for them or even just going to sit with them or spend time with them are very welcome. Bring flowers, even something from your own yard, or a favorite book to brighten their days. There are things that you can do, that we might even think of as “small”, that mean so much.

In our house, my partner will often do the laundry, and he takes care of the dishes. He’ll ask if I want a Subway when he goes to run errands into town, or just because will bring me a little something. An unprompted shoulder rub can be heaven when the fibromyalgia brings me down. They are small things, but they are wonderful.

If your friend or family member can’t drive, then simply taking him or her out of the house can be a welcome surprise. Driving around parks or past a house whose yard is filled with particularly beautiful flowers can brighten someone’s day.

It’s the little things that will warm someone’s heart for a long time, and they don’t even have to have a chronic illness to appreciate these small, thoughtful gestures.

Don’t know what to do to help your friend or family member, or looking for ideas and support? Then check out communities such as But You Don’t Look Sick.

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Break Down: It’s Okay

When things get to be too much for us, our body takes over. The flight or fight response can only do so much. If we can’t run away and we can’t fight it, eventually the trapped/stuck/stagnant feelings will overwhelm us and our bodies will start to shut down. No matter how much we try, we cannot do everything all the time. Our bodies will say STOP.

Whether it’s fibromyalgia (which I have), or as I like to call it my “fibro monster”, sitting on your shoulder going “nope, you’re done. NOW!” or something different, our bodies have ways of telling us when we need to take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, people have break downs.

It happens, and it happens to the best of people. Before it gets to that point, though, let it out. Don’t sit on your anger, your sorrow, your pain, your frustration, letting it simmer inside you like a pot left on the stove. Do what you need to do. If that’s going into your bedroom, shutting the door and bawling until your cheeks hurt, then please, make time for yourself to do that.

Today, I am telling everyone that it is all right to let out your emotions. If you need a safe place to do so, then find help. It might be your clergy or your therapist or your friends or family members. Maybe it’s just your online journal with the post set to private so no one except you can read it. It doesn’t matter where, or to whom, you let those feelings out as long as it’s done in a safe space and in a safe manner.

Take care of yourself. It’s scary out there, and the world needs you. Really, it does. So let go, before you break down. Don’t feel any negative feelings about your not being strong enough, because you know what, the strongest people I know are the ones who reach out and say, “this is too much and I need help.”

 

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Medical Fear: 5 Ways To Cope and Transform

Those of us with chronic illness understand the fear that comes upon us when we go to the doctor’s office. If you haven’t been keeping up with your checkups, then there’s the “oh god, what are they going to find?” sort of fear. If you have a chronic illness that’s ever changing, then there’s the “what now?” fear. And, even if nothing is actively changing with your illness, there’s always the fear of “will my doctor listen to me?”

Letting those thoughts chase around our mind doesn’t help us. In fact, it can hurt by creating needless anxiety, pain, and stress. So what can we do to change this medical fear into something positive.

First, don’t let your medical care lapse. I’ll raise my hand here, and like many, there was “never time” to get that routine physical. And really, I don’t think any of us like having blood drawn or sitting in those uncomfortable gowns on paper-covered tables. But, if we keep up on our physicals we will be more informed and information will drive away the fear. Plus, quite often we’ll learn there’s nothing to worry about.

Second, you don’t have to deal with a doctor who doesn’t listen to you or treat you with respect. Seriously. If you do not have a good rapport with your doctor, then find a new one. In some areas that might be more difficult or medical plans might prevent it, but do what you can. If you cannot change doctors, most health plans or health groups have patient advocates. Contact them. You should get a patient’s bill of rights when you are in your doctor’s office. If you didn’t get one, ask for it!

Third, do your own research. No, we can’t trust our health care to Google, but we can network with others who might have our same illness. Sites like But You Don’t Look Sick are invaluable resources. Finding out what works, or doesn’t work, for others can help you with your own health journey.

Fourth, acknowledge and honor the fear. It’s normal and okay to be worried or fearful. But, by dwelling on them we only increase their significance in our mind. Instead, acknowledge the fear. “I’m fearful about my doctor’s appointment tomorrow because I’m worried what they might find.” Then, be with that emotion. What if they do find something? Well, what then? Your diet might change. You might need to do more exercise. You might have to take medicine. Those are the things (not the medicine, of course) that you were wanting to do anyway, I’d bet.

Fifth, know you are not alone. Again, this is where networking with others can help. You are not alone in your fears. Sometimes simply knowing this is enough.

There are ways to transform your fear into something positive, or at least something that isn’t negatively impacting your health. When you make that appointment, don’t dread it. Use these tips to help you get the care you need, and the care you deserve!

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5 Tips For When Your Chronic Illness Flares

dandelion, allergy, sneezeTemperatures in the 80′s had spring busting out all over with green, flowers, and pollen. It didn’t help that every newscast had some story about how allergy season was so much worse already this time of year, and the Weather Channel, every hour on the hour, talked about pollen counts. When you can’t breathe, and all the medicine, netipots, and Breathe Easy tea in the world isn’t helping, those “helpful” news conversations…well, they aren’t so helpful. And it isn’t news.

When you have a chronic illness, even if it’s something as “small” (And I put that in quotes, because not being able to breathe is not a small matter if you’re the stuffed one) as chronic rhinitis, it will flare. Weather changes have made me quite sensitive now between the rhinitis and the fibromyalgia (and the one makes the other worse). When we dropped from 80 to 50 in the span of about three hours, that temperature flux combined with the allergies laid me low.

In fact, last week was mostly a sneeze and pain-filled experience. When your chronic illness flares, it’s so important to take care of yourself, but also to have people around you who can take care of you, too. A great place to start is with these five tips.

#1 – Be gentle with yourself. Oh I know how the to do list goes undone and dinner becomes take out or fast food because you just don’t have the energy to cook. And then you want to get mad because you know that take out is unhealthy, but darn it, you just don’t feel well. Be gentle with yourself. Understand and forgive yourself for not being able to be superwoman (or superman). Don’t worry. The “kryptonite” of your flare will pass and you’ll be good as new.

#2 – Take care of yourself. It’s so easy to think that you “can’t afford” medicine or that going to a doctor is a waste of time. “It’s just allergies,” they’ll tell you. “Go home and rest.” But if you need medical care, whether that’s a doctor’s visit or medicine (I’d slacked on my sinus sprays), take it. Or at least be aware of your symptoms so when the allergies turn into the inevitable sinus infection, you know and can get treatment quickly.

#3 – Be aware of what helps, or what hinders. Some things, like eating bad, not getting enough rest, or getting frustrated/angry/upset set my fibro monster into a fury. Know what triggers your chronic symptoms and stay away from them. Or, if you feel them start to come on, like a lack of sleep or frustration, stop and take steps to correct it. Use some deep breathing or mindfulness exercises. Take a nap. Last week I was napping at 3pm like a kindergarten student. I wasn’t happy, but my body spoke, so I listened.

#4 – Call in reinforcements. Whether that’s the partner who can cook for you, to a good friend who can simply lend an ear, call on those who are around you for help. And if you don’t think you have anyone, visit online communities to find circles of friends. There are people out there who can help.

#5 – Know that this, too, shall pass. Flares don’t last forever; it just seems that way. Know that in a day or two you’ll feel better and can get back to your usual self. You will.

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Reiki For Shoulders

I’m not sure if it’s the weather changes or the hours at the computer or the fact that shoulders are one of those fibromyalgia pain points, but mine have hurt for about the last week, as if someone is grabbing the top of my shoulders and pinching. Since pain meds don’t work well for me, I’ve been treating the aches with reiki, gentle stretching, and heating pads.

When giving reiki to someone else, treating the shoulders involves putting your hands just underneath them, or gently cupping the tops of the shoulders with your hands. Because the person receiving reiki is either sitting or lying on a reiki table, it’s easy to position yourself at their head to be able to reach their shoulders. As a reiki practitioner, I love sending reiki into someone’s neck and shoulders. It feels very soothing, and as someone who spends long hours at a computer, I know it must feel very relaxing.

Alone, it’s more difficult to give reiki to this area because our elbows only bend in one direction, and our shoulders…well, we’re just not that flexible. The best way I’ve found to give reiki to my shoulders is to use one hand and rest it on the opposite shoulder. Giving myself a hug feels a little constraining, so I work with one hand at a time. This way, I can also rub the sore or tense muscles of my neck as well and make sure that one side is reiki’d and relaxed before heading to the other.

I also get kitty reiki to my shoulders. One of our cats likes to stand in your lap and rest her front paws  on a shoulder. She’s attuned to reiki, and I can feel the energy flow when she does this. She’ll rub her face against my cheek and then just rest there, purring, quite content to be a feline heating pad and reiki unit all in one.

You could also charge a heating pad or small pillow with reiki and place it under your shoulders as well.

I’ve also clasped my hands and imagined the reiki energy traveling up the arms. Reiki energy is smart energy; there’s no limit to the ways in which you can send it. Given how many hours we spend at the computers, reiki to the shoulders is one of the best ways we can send the energy to ourselves and those we know.

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How To Be Gentle With Yourself And Still Get Things Done

abundance vacation beach wealth time leisure It’s a hard thing to do, be gentle with yourself. Today is a gentle sort of day for me. It’s the start of a major transition, my sinuses are telling me that they are way not happy with my falling off my care regimen (fear-based thoughts… I’ll talk about those later…), and my fibromyalgia is well aware of the transition. So I slept later than I’d planned, and although the sun is shining and the day looks positively gorgeous for late February, I shall sit down at the computer and start on the inevitable to do list. And yet, I’m being gentle with myself.

Sure, sitting down to work on a beautiful day might not sound like someone is being gentle with him or herself. When we think of “being gentle”, we think of relaxation, enjoying a good book, naps, comfort foods, and general “don’t have to do anything” type activities. But you can still take care of what you need to do and be gentle. There are just a few simple things to keep in mind.

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Feed Your Body

I suppose it is kind of funny that it’s taken me this long to finally understand the basis of nutrition. After all, I’ve been on and off of Weight Watchers for years. You’d think I would finally figure out, especially after all the Schoolhouse Rock and elementary school teachings that food is fuel, right?

Well, it’s taken some spiritual work and a chronic illness, but I think I’m finally figuring it out. Putting good food into your body is more than a weight loss or a health or a nutrition issue–it is a spiritual issue.

I can hear you questioning how it can be a spiritual issue. Our food is physical. It goes into our bodies. It’s what we eat. How can it be spiritual?

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